Category Archives: EU referendum

A few pints in Brussels

Good day to you, my name is David but my frenemies call me Tory Dave. Last night, I went to the pub with some mates of mine for some pints. I say “mates” but to be honest I don’t really like most of these people very much. They are all foreigners and – while I know it’s not okay to say this out loud – I must admit I don’t really like foreigners, except perhaps when they are white and come from one of the former colonies.

The Italian guy is just so lazy, always on siesta, and the Spaniard is from some filthy place like Venice or some such and always complains when I put chorizo in my risotto. That German lass, Angie, has no sense of humour and they always beat us at the football. But the worst is of course the French guy, Michel. I’ve never liked the French. He always smells of garlic and looks so sour. This is why I always pre-drink before I even met those guys in the pub and why I look so cheerful in the photos.

So anyway, the others bought a few rounds. But when it came to my turn I just thought “Nah, you know what, I’ll just go home.” For some reason all the others got really pissed off that I wasn’t going to buy a round for them. At first I wanted to tell them to go whistle but then I took a deep breath lest they kick me out on the kerb without my umbrella and bowler hat.  I told them I would carefully check every item on the bill and only pay for what I drank, but that they should keep in mind that I already paid loads many years ago even though nobody can really remember. They claim that the German, French, and Italian all put in more than me but of course that’s just because of that discount I’ve had in the pub for decades because I used to be a lot less well-off than I am now. I felt it was best not to bring that up though because that’s always been a sore spot with them. Instead I just shrugged and stumbled home. They are still asking me to pay them back now because apparently “we had all agreed on that” but I have no recollection of that at all. Perhaps I shouldn’t have had all that gin before joining them.

Anyway, I still haven’t paid and won’t give them a penny. All the same, I’m sure they will all be happy to see me again soon because they want to sell me their cars and prosecco. After all, they’ll know I’ve saved up for that because I didn’t waste my hard earned cash on buying them rounds in the pub. Besides I have such excellent jams made from strawberries in my garden. Jam production costs me next to nothing because I just invite the neighbours around to pick them for a pittance. Shame is those bastards always overstay their welcome so I have now told them they can come for two hours but then they have to go home. I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, some of the Poles actually came to fix my radiator once and the Dutch put a plaster on my scraped knee when I fell over drunk after the pub. And they’ve always put in a couple of coins in the piggy bank (I’m saving for a cool model train for my kids). So I totally think these guys are valued members of our community here. I just don’t want them in my house.

Obviously, the ones I already let come in can stay, they just need to carry a card at all times so we know who they are and that they can get a cup of tea when I put on the kettle while the newcomers don’t. This is only fair. By the way, the card is totally not an “ID card” – I hate those obviously. It’s simply a card you use to identify yourself with. Surely, the other people coming in later won’t mind. They’re all happy they can come to pick my strawberries and then piss off again when I’m tired of hearing them speak that foreign gibberish. They steadfastly refuse to spend the fortune they make working for me on proper English lessons. Seriously, sometimes I don’t hear a word of English before I make it upstairs to the bedroom – and even then it’s mostly because I’m mumbling to myself about sovereignty and all the Islamic extremists from devout Muslim countries like Austria and Poland.

Naturally, the ID ca… sorry not-an-ID-card will only be required for people who don’t already live at this address, by which I mean who were born here or who lived over six years at this address, took an exam on the history of my house that I couldn’t pass myself in a million years, and who spent between £1200-2000 for the honour to pledge allegiance to the Queen. Because you can totally tell the difference between these people and the ones that didn’t. They just immediately become part of the family and show it by wearing tweed jackets, going on illegal fox hunts, and losing the ability to speak any other language but English.

Obviously, if anyone living at this address wants to marry someone who doesn’t they can just get the hell out. Why should I let some random slit-eyed or brown person live in my house just because my son or daughter wants to be with their spouse? Wait, did I say that out loud? I meant some person from one of those wonderful countries that I would like to sell lots of stuff to. You know, things like my strawberry jam.

Anyway, I disgress. If those bullies in the pub keep insisting that I pay for a round then I’ll just walk away. No round is better than a bad round, by which I mean a round that isn’t free. If they don’t want to spend time with me, then I am sure I’ll find someone else to have drinks with. Like Theresa, the vicar’s daughter from down the road, or Moggy, who looks and talks more and more like a vicar every day himself. Or perhaps Boris the Blond although he’s really a bit of a clown. And of course I can always go over to the golf course for some well-done steak with ketchup and chlorine chicken with Donny. Provided he doesn’t go to jail first.

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The bottom line

So I haven’t posted in a while, first because I was depressed and lethargic from the dreadful outcome of the EU referendum, and then because I was busy with actual work. I was considering writing a post about how direct democracy has the same problems as citizen science (thanks to Chris Chambers for inspiring that thought a little) but then I don’t feel like it right now.

There isn’t much left to be said about “Brexit” (how I hate that word) that others haven’t already said. The bottom line is, it is highly likely to seriously hurt British science and, I wager, also Britain in general. It seems the political will isn’t there to simply slide into EEA membership (which would keep freedom of movement) and any other solutions appear to be like a terrible deal for the UK, for the EU, and for science. What exactly will happen nobody can predict (as you know I don’t believe in precognition) so we’ll just have to wait and see. Except we don’t have to wait and see for it here. I don’t really see why I should suffer the consequences of a referendum I wasn’t even allowed to vote in despite being a settled and contributing member of society. It is too early to make any rash decisions but I can certainly perceive greener pastures elsewhere…

For the time being, however, I have merely decided to switch to American spelling. This is not reawakening the Devil’s Neuroscientist (She also used American English). It’s just a protest. And, perhaps, depending how the US elections in November go I may have to change it back… On the bright side, my next post will presumably be about something sciency.

el_ultimo_de_gibraltar
I am currently considering petitioning UCL to open a branch in Gibraltar given that this region will almost certainly have to get some special status after the UK leaves the EU

Six flawed arguments for leaving the EU

As anyone who reads this blog probably knows, the UK will hold a referendum about its continued membership in the EU later this month, on 23rd June. I already discussed my views on this in my previous post, so I won’t go into any depth on that here. The discussion is raging, not only in the media but no doubt in many family homes and workplaces (would be curious to be a fly on the wall when Boris Johnson and his brother, science minister Jo Johnson, talk about this in private…). I do think I have said most that I can say about it already – but I keep hearing the same tired, naïve arguments over and over. So I’ll write something about it, one last time before putting my future career, my civil rights, and most likely my continued life in this country in the hands of voters. Here I address six flawed arguments for leaving the EU:

1. “It will change everything”

Actually, most likely nothing major will happen at all. By far the most likely scenario is that the UK leaves the EU, and then joins the EEA in which free movement of people remains in turn for having full access to the single market. EU citizens in the UK will retain the same rights they had previously. Parliament comprises a large number of MPs from Labour, the Lib Dems, the SNP, and one (I think?) from the Greens, plus a healthy number of Europhile Conservatives. This means that this outcome is essentially guaranteed, at least until the next general election (and even then it seems highly unlikely that this situation will change dramatically). Of course, the UK would nevertheless give up its rights to influence EU policy. Sounds like a rotten deal to me. Anyway, leaving this aside, in the remainder of this post I will pretend that a vote to leave the EU will mean also an end to freedom of movement, which is the illusory scenario the Leave campaign is  peddling.

(Update 11 June 2016: The above EEA scenario of course assumes that the UK is allowed to remain in the single market. Wolfgang Schäuble seems to think that isn’t going to happen. I don’t agree with Schäuble much about anything but then again he is also highly influential in EU politics so it’s difficult to know what to think about his argument.)

2.”We can spend the money we save on UK science”

One reason I and many scientists are vehemently opposing this nostalgic independence nonsense is that a great deal of British science funding comes from the EU and that science in the UK would suffer if that were lost. An oft-repeated counterargument to this is that by leaving the EU the UK would no longer pay contributions to European funds and could thus use those savings to spend on British science. This is based on false economy and wishful thinking. The UK brings in more science funding than it pays in, so it would have to increase its science funding. When was the last time a British government did that? Do you honestly think it is likely they will do that now? Of course this argument is not even taking into account the strain on the economy now. It also ignores the likely hit the economy will take after leaving which will reduce and quite possibly wipe out any potential savings. And it blatantly neglects the substantial cost that the UK must pay to leave the EU in the first place. None of these things suggest there will be lots of spare pennies to fund UK research and development. (For similar reasons I also don’t believe this money will be used for the NHS or building homes but that’s outside the scope of my post).

3. “We will be free of EU bureaucracy”

Science has always been collaborative and it is increasingly so in our age. We need international science projects and the EU science initiatives (which go well beyond EU member states) can facilitate this far better than any single national body could. So the UK will quite likely continue to contribute to those initiatives, just as other non-EU countries (like Switzerland) are contributing – without any say in its direction.

4. “Scientists can still collaborate”

Funding is a big factor in science and the cynics on the Leave side are probably right that it is one of the driving factors why all vice-chancellors and governing bodies of British universities want the UK to stay in the EU. But it’s not just about that. Because science is collaborative and international, universities and research centres are usually extremely multinational. This may be especially true in English-speaking countries and this ability to attract bright minds from all over the world is what boost British science output (e.g. a large proportion of research grants brought to UK universities are brought in by people who are not UK citizens). You do not help this by putting up barriers. Leave campaigners like to talk about “point-based immigration systems” that would allow the UK to hire people in professions it needs and that makes it possible for excellent students to come here. Sure, because the best thing is always to have more bureaucracy and paperwork! That will doubtless attract great applicants who could instead be free to move to Paris, Berlin – or Dublin.

5. “EU citizens already living here can stay”

Much of this referendum debate has focused on immigration. Recent years have seen unprecedented immigration of people from other EU nations (although this still only accounts for around half of overall immigration to the UK). It is not surprising that this could cause some issues and concerns. More people making demands on the health system, on housing, or on jobs may strain the country’s capacity. Stopping EU immigration dead in its tracks will perhaps relieve this strain – however, one question Leave campaigners steadfastly ignore to address is what happens to the people who are already here. Unless they all pack and leave voluntarily on 24th June they will still put a strain on the capacity for some time to come. One argument I often hear is “nobody will be kicked out”. However, non-EU citizens are being deported left and right, sometimes for ludicrous reasons and in ludicrous ways. Under the Reign of Terroresa May, neither having a doctorate nor a British spouse necessarily protect you from this. Unless some sort of special agreement is negotiated, the same rules will apply to EU citizens if the UK leaves the EU. There is a lot of conflicting information out there, the most insidious of which is blatant (but presumably lucrative?) scare-mongering by law firms pushing people to apply for citizenship. Now, I don’t think many EU citizens will be deported, especially not those who are already settled here. But Leave campaigners show an obvious disconnect: On the one hand, they seem to believe that by leaving the EU the burden on the NHS and housing is magically lifted. On the other hand, they (at least the sane ones) maintain that there won’t be any mass-deportation of the very people they blame for this burden.

6. “We will regain our sovereignty”

The UK still is, and remains to be, a sovereign nation insofar that such a thing exists in this globalised world. I wasn’t overly impressed by David Cameron’s performance in that cringe-worthy ITV townhall meeting but one compelling answer he gave is that voting to Leave the EU will give an illusion of independence from foreign powers whilst sacrificing actual influence on the world and European stage. I call this the Libertarian Fallacy because it is the same faulty logic that leads many self-declared Libertarians to oppose all sorts of policies in the name of “liberty” without achieving any individual freedom at all. It’s the reasoning that allows some to decry background checks on guns as tyranny but sees no problem with strict tests for driving licenses. It’s the cognitive dissonance in which citizen ID cards evoke the spectre of fascist dictatorship but nobody worries about the far less controlled surveillance via credit card transactions or online activities. Whatever utopian dreams you may have about a “sovereign” UK after EU exit, it will lose its seat at the table and have reduced sway in any decision-making process in Europe – and by extension also in the world. Perhaps it’s fine with many to be an isolated island in a big sea dominated by China and the US, and a new Russian empire rattling its sabres. Fine, not all nations need to be world players. Perhaps these big guys will even leave you in peace. But don’t think for a second that by leaving the EU Britannia will rule the waves again.

Uncertain times

On 23rd June 2016 the citizens of the United Kingdom (plus immigrants from Commonwealth nations and the Republic of Ireland) will vote to decide if the UK should remain a member of the European Union. Colloquially, this is known as the “Brexit” debate. I refuse to use this horrible term again, not only because it sounds like a breakfast cereal but also because it’s a misnomer: the decision is not about Britain but the whole of the UK.

Let me be straight: I am a strong and vocal supporter of the UK staying in the EU. As an immigrant (I also won’t use the offensive term “migrant”) from a EU country, a Leave vote would have direct consequences for my life in the country I called home for almost two decades. I would inevitably lose some of the rights I have enjoyed since then. The EU is what made it possible for me to study, live and work here, it allowed me to spend a year in yet another EU country during my studies, and it made my life easier in countless ways, not least of all the simplicity of crossing the borders. All of these things apply to all EU citizens so from a purely selfish perspective all of them should also support it. A lot of things we take for granted are a direct consequence of the civil liberties the EU guarantees.

The whole public debate surrounding this issue has been characterised by panic mongering and inane bickering from both sides. From deliberate obfuscations (“If we leave the EU every household will lose £4,300!”) to outright lies (“We pay £350 million a week to Brussels!”) both camps are painting nightmare scenarios of what will happen if the other side wins. Add to that all of the rubbish Boris Johnson dreams up on a typical day that is too delusional to even constitute a lie.

The truth of the matter is this: nobody has a damn clue what will happen if the UK leaves the EU. There is no precedent for a country leaving the bloc. Some European countries like Switzerland, Norway, and Liechtenstein are not EU members so they can give us an idea of what the relationship between the UK and the remainder of the EU could look like in the future. However, these are all also very different countries than the UK. They have far smaller populations, have very different economies and societies, and they have existed outside the EU whilst the UK has for decades been an integral, albeit reluctant, member. The only thing Liechtenstein has in common with the UK is its national anthem. The only thing we do know is that most of these countries have a relationship with the EU that permits free movement of people. Since one of the main arguments put forth in support of leaving the EU is “regaining control of our borders,” it actually seems very unlikely that any dramatic change in border control can be achieved this way. Nevertheless, we can’t know what will happen.

This is why it worries me and why it should worry you also. The future is very uncertain and leaving the EU will be a very big risk. The doomsday scenarios painted by either side are extreme and frankly also insulting our collective intelligence. Anyone who tells you what terrible consequences a Leave or Remain decision will have, is either lying or – at best – completely delusional. In any case, you shouldn’t listen to them. The Remain camp have one thing going for them though: they support the status quo and voting to Remain is the conservative decision. Whatever propaganda Leave proponents may spout about it, it is unlikely that any of their horrors are becoming a reality if the UK stays in the EU. Rather, things will presumably not really change much from how they are now. Voting Leave is by far the riskier and more radical thing to do. That said, I doubt it will have disastrous consequences either. The initial negotiations will be difficult and cumbersome. The process of leaving will also cost a lot of money, at least in the short run, money that won’t be saved by not paying into EU coffers (for one thing because the UK will continue to pay while these negotiations take place). For science and technology, I believe the consequences will be painful as it will make it much harder to access large European research grants (which the UK also cannot simply make up for by no longer paying in) and – what is worse – the added bureaucracy and administrative burden of turning skilled workers from EU countries into immigrants from overseas, which will stifle collaboration to some extent. So no, leaving the EU will probably not to ruin the UK. But don’t fool yourself into thinking that it won’t have bad consequences.

As far as I am concerned, I recently I started the process of naturalisation to become a British citizen. I had originally wanted to complete this before the referendum so I could vote in it. I held back on this for ages because for many years my country of origin did not allow dual citizenship (guess which supernational organisation is to thank for that being possible now?) and also because it’s damned expensive. Now I am too late to get there before 23rd June. If the UK stays in the EU, I will most likely finish the process. This place is my home and I am tired of being subject to taxation without representation. I feel it’s about time I can fully shape the future of this country with my votes.

Of course, gaining citizenship will be far more useful if the UK indeed leaves the EU. People like me would most likely lose the right to vote in other elections we could vote in until now. It is far less clear how residence rights will change. As I already said, if the UK remains in the EEA, free movement rights are unlikely to be affected at all. But if “control of the borders” is “regained” this would change. Will our automatic permanent resident status be carried over? It does seem improbable that we would suddenly be asked to apply for visas or indefinite leave as such a change would result in complete chaos. It is quite likely though that some additional bureaucratic hurdles would be erected because that’s just what governments do. But honestly, I don’t think I’ll go through with naturalisation if the UK leaves the EU. Melodramatic as it sounds (because screw it, this whole debate has been plagued with melodrama and over-emotional rhetoric) a vote to Leave is a statement that people like me are not really welcome in this country. If the UK votes to Leave, I will most likely choose to leave the UK.

But don’t get me wrong. I do think this referendum is a good idea. For one thing, it is democratic. More importantly, I don’t actually think that Britons will vote to Leave. The polls suggest a close race but the Remain camp has been steadily ahead. As the graph below shows,  the fewer people answer “Don’t know” in a poll, the farther the Remain vote is ahead of the Leave vote. It is probably simplistic to interpret too much into this because this must depend on the particular poll but it could support the interpretation that people vote conservatively. Undecided voters are unlikely to choose the radical option on referendum day.

In my view, this referendum is actually way overdue. If the Leaves have it, then yes, the British will have spoken that European integration has gone too far for them. But if the Remain votes win this will hopefully finally put to rest a common Eurosceptic assertion that the UK originally only “voted to join the Common Market.”  It is about bloody time that this discussion moved into the 21st century.

EuroPolls
Difference between Remain and Leave votes compared to the percentage of Don’t know votes. (Polls without Don’t know votes have been removed). Source: Poll of Polls